Wednesday, March 08, 2006

More NASCAR Cracks!

Today as I was out and about, I was behind a car with a NASCAR license plate frame. The frame featured #88, Dale Jarrett! Come on...Dale Jarrett!? I'm pretty sure they made that up! How many Dale's and Jarrett's do they already got driving around those NASCAR tracks!?! That's two much of a NASCAR name to be a coincidence! Either that's not his real name or his no-doubt unwed, Winston-smoking mother named him that and put him to bed every night with a steering wheel in his hands as he lay in his crib with a giant Tide logo on the side of it! Dale Jarrett...Give me a break! That's like the WWE introducing their new wrestler, Rock Hogan!

I also saw a billboard today for the Lady and the Tramp DVD. Along with the obligatory picture of Lady and Tramp eating their spaghetti dinner while the Italian stereotypes serenade them, at the bottom of the billboard it has the "Rated G" logo and underneath that it says: "For ratings information go to filmratings.com"
Who exactly needs clarification on why Lady and the Tramp is rated G? For that matter, any movie rated G! So then when you go to filmratings.com and type in "Lady and the Tramp" it just says "Rated G". Thanks MPAA! That was the most unnecessary internet trip since I typed in the code from my Taco Bell cup!

But since I was at filmratings.com, I thought I'd share my two favorite ratings explanations!

Title: Team America World Police (2004)
Rating: R
Rating Reason: Rated R for graphic crude and sexual humor, violent images and strong language - all involving puppets

and

Title: Twister (1996)
Rating: PG-13
Rating Reason: Rated PG-13 for intense depiction of very bad weather

(I admit, when I was younger I used to sneak copies of "Nasty Weather Illustrated" under my mattress!)

So, I'm taking it upon myself to re-rate Lady and the Tramp PG-13 for suggestive pasta eating, loud barking, and intense depiction of dog pound.

2 comments:

Amy said...

I have not laughed this hard all week.

Thank you Ed.

Nancy H. said...

I think NASCAR is a kind of a lifestyle attitude. Some things all fall into the category of - either you are IN or OUT.
You know, like maybe someone says: "It's a NASCAR thing. You wouldn't understand."
With NASCAR, I guess I'm OUT.

O yeah, you gotta love those ratings explanations....

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