Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
The cast of McDonaldland characters is one of the great things that we all loved about the fast food chain when we were younger. The Burger King Kids Club crew, the Arby's oven mit or even Bob Evan's Bisquit n' Gravy - none come even close to the awesomeness of Ronald McDonald and his buddies. These toys are reproductions from a line of McDonaldland toys that came out in the 70's. What kid today wouldn't want to recreate the adventures of Capt. Crook trying to get his hands on a Filet o'Fish sandwhich?! I had the whole set of these when I was younger including the giant playset with a mat that took up the entire floor of our playroom. It's probably worth hundreds of dollars now and I bet we sold it at a garage sale for a dollar.
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Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Phantom (1996) - I honestly don't remember anything about this movie except that it's based on an old radio show, we got free Phantom rings when we saw it, and it's probably the only time anyone has gone to see a movie staring Billy Zane.
Godzilla 2000 (1999) - Part of the late 90's trend of tacking on "2000" to your movie title a year or so before the turn of the millennium...I'm a hero in my kid's eyes because I saw this in the theatre. We recently watched it and they fell in love with Godzilla. They are already making me promise them that I'll take them to the next Godzilla movie that comes out.
Recess: School's Out (2001) - This was actually a pretty decent animated movie based on a TV show that I've never seen once.
Doug's First Movie (1999) - This is another decent animated movie based on a TV show, except I had seen the Doug TV show before. This will go down in my history books as the most expensive movie ticket I ever paid for because I made my friend run a red light on the way to the theatre. A few weeks later he got a ticket in the mail and I felt it only right to pay the fine. But in my defense it was Doug's first movie!
The King and I (1999) - Back when I had to see anything animated released to a movie theatre, this was pure kiddie crap and I'm quite sure I slept through 90% of it.
Wing Commander (1999) - I've been told that I was in such a deep sleep during this unbelievably horrible film that I couldn't even be awakened to walk out of the movie half way through it.
Drive Me Crazy (1999) - The big screen debut of Melissa Joan Hart! I was so there!
Meet The Deedles (1998) - One of the great works by master thespian Paul Walker, here he plays one of a duo of brothers who save the Prairie Dog population of Yellowstone Park by teaching them how to surf. Good stuff!
The Beautician and The Beast (1997) - Ah, who can forget when the world was in a Fran Dresher craze. We loved her so much she got her own movie...with Timothy Dalton in it even! My attendance at this film was based on the selection process of least objectionable film playing at the second run theatre on a Saturday night. (I wonder what we passed up!?)
Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) - Everybody saw the first Power Rangers movie opening night, right!? But only a select few saw the sequel a few years later, which was actually pretty good.
McHale's Navy (1997) - I admit, I was on a bit of a Tom Arnold kick for a while. I'm pretty sure this completely humorless film put the final nail in the coffin of my T.A. fandom.
The Trigger Effect (1996) - This was a pretty intense yarn about what would happen if the whole country lost electricity. Good movie, but after I walked out of the theatre I never heard a single thing about this movie ever again.
The Stupids (1996) - Oh Tom Arnold, how much money did I spend on your movies?
Mystery Science Theatre 3000: The Movie (1996) - A movie based on a TV show about people watching movies. Saw it!
Barb Wire (1996) - Not only did I see this Pam Anderson snooze fest of an action pic, I saw it at a critic's screening at 9:30 in the morning. That's a special memory, my friends!
Kids in the Hall: Brain Candy (1996) - Again, why do I go see movies based on shows I've never seen!
House Arrest (1996) - This movie is good as nuts, where Jamie Lee Curtis and Kevin Pollack get locked in the basement by their kids and the kids don't let them out until they stop fighting and promise not to get divorced. And then other kids in the neighborhood bring their parents over and they are all locked in the basement. Man, that's a good film!
Joe's Apartment (1996) - A movie based on an MTV station ID featuring singing cockroaches...that has ME written all over it, doesn't it?
New York Minute (2004) - After years of following Mary-Kate and Ashley on their various direct-to-video adventures where they traveled to different countries and met boys and tried on clothes, I was all about a big screen outing for the sisters Olson. What it turned out to be was 90 laugh unfilled minutes of lame reasons and excuses to get the girls wet and/or semi-nude. Sounds like a sure-fire recipe for a great film, but it somehow didn't work!
The Substitute (1996) - I have a pretty good memory when it comes to my film going experiences, but I really wish I remember the chain of events that led me into a theatre to watch a Tom Berenger thriller.
Spawn (1997) - Again, why?
Mimic (1997) - I believe I was attracted by the one-two punch of Mrs. Mira Sorvino and Mr. Charles S. Dutton.
Jerky Boys: The Movie (1995) - Here's the thing, I'm not a fan of The Jerky Boys. You remember them, they made prank phones calls and released them on CD. Anywho, not only was I one of the 9 people who ever saw this in the theatre, I also ended up seeing them live in concert. The concert was way worse than the movie...and the movie was pretty freakin' bad!
Dice Rules (1991) - My first NC-17 movie.
National Lampoon's Senior Trip (1995) - This was back when the National Lampoon name meant something!
Ernest Rides Again (1993) - The 5th Ernest film, and the last one to get a theatrical release. I hung in there with Ernest all the way to the end! RIP Ernest, knowhutImean!?
Lobster Man From Mars (1989) - I saw a movie...in a real movie theatre...called Lobster Man From Mars. Think about that for a while.
Drive-In Double Feature: Free Willy 2 & Under Siege 2 (1995) You read that right.
Monday, August 09, 2010
Just saw these new Retro designs on the latest boxes of Cap'n Crunch cereal. They feature the original Jay Ward designed characters from when the cereal first came out. Very fun!
Wednesday, August 04, 2010
Here's the thing...I'm not really ever on board with the whole "so bad it's funny" thing, but these movies have gotten so idiotic and horrible that they are hilarious! They are just so bad...and I like Bad Movies - so who's supposed to watch this stuff!?!
That being said: Can't wait to see it!
Monday, August 02, 2010
As I've said before, I used to go to the movies all the time. I've seen alot of crap that nobody has ever heard of before, but these five films might rank at the top of the obsecurity list!
Scenes From the Class Struggle in Beverly Hills (1989) I don't remember much about this movie except for one bizarre sexual topic that I learned about from this movie and I can't repeat here...ok, it involves wrapping a plastic bag around your head...but anyhow, this movie's big claim to fame is that it was the first feature film appearance of Rebecca Schaeffer. Schaeffer was a young actress who also appeared in the short lived sit-com "My Sister Sam". In her movie debut, Schaeffer appeared in a sex scene (without the plastic bag) which enraged an obsessed fan of hers. Shortly after the films release, the fan tracked her down at her Hollywood home and shot her dead. Quite honestly, I'm lucky I wasn't a suspect in that murder since I'm the only other person who had seen that movie at the time!
Robot Jox (1990) You may have seen this one on cable TV sometime. It's a cross between Transformers and Tron except it had the budget of neither of them. And it was in the days before computer imagery so all the special effects are done in miniature. All it all, it was actually a pretty good little sci-fi action flick. Among the cast members was Anne-Marie Johnson who at the time I was probably a pretty big fan of from her work in "Hollywood Shuffle" and "What's Happening Now!". I saw this at the ol' Westview Cinemas on Rt. 40 in Catonsville, MD. A fantastic theatre where I saw many an obscure film.
Happily Ever After (produced in 1988, released in 1993) I saw this movie simply because I'm a loyal Filmation fan. (Filmation is the cartoon studio that produced any Saturday morning cartoons that weren't made by Hanna-Barbera.) It's an attempt to create a sequel to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs except that when Disney heard of this idea they threatened legal action against Filmation. So, Filmation turned the dwarfs into the dwarfelles - the female counterparts of the original dwarfs. The movie boasts an "all-star" cast including Ed Asner, Irene Cara, Carol Channing, Dom DeLuise, and Phillis Diller. When I saw this in the theatre, the power went our for about 20 minutes near the end of the film. While we were sitting in the dimly lit room in near silence waiting for the movie to come back on the five year old girl sitting in front of me turned to her mother and said "I think the mysterious man in the cloak is actually the prince." She kind of gave away the ending for me because I hadn't figured that out yet.
Brenda Starr (produced in 1989, released in 1992)
Here's another flick that sat on the shelves ageing before I plopped down my six bucks. This movie was so bad that I can't remember a single thing about it. I guess the only thing I remember about it is that it was bad. This was also another great Westview Cinemas screening.
Body Chemistry (1990) Back in the day, before it was an accepted practice to make movies directly for video, producers would often release low-budget video features to a handful of theatres just so that could put things like "U.S. Theatrical Run" and "Fresh From Theatres" on the video box and in the advertising. I only went to see it because I knew it was a direct to video movie. I would never go see a film where a man's nipple is so prominently displayed in the advertising.