Friday, August 18, 2006

The Return of JonBenet...or...This Guy is Guilty of Something

If you've known me throughout the years you're probably waiting for me to comment on the recent developments in the decade old JonBenet Ramsey case. Well folks, it all doesn't add up quite yet. I'll give `em this...that dude is guilty of something somewhere. Look at him! Look at that picture. He gives me chills that could freeze meat. He couldn't be any creepier if you gave him a machete and put a hockey mask on him. He looks like he's got more evil going on in his head than Dick Chaney.

Since the public and the media already tried and convicted JonBenet's parents, I think the public is owed some details on the arrest of this John Mark Karr guy pretty quick! This guy was arrested in Thailand Wednesday and confessed that he was with lil' JonBenet at the time of her death, and that her death was an accident.

Let's start with the "accident" claim. JonBenet had been raped and then strangled with a wire coat hanger. How do you accidentally wrap a wire coat hanger around a 6 year old girls neck!? I guess you could accidentally have sex with a 6 year old girl if she showed you a fake ID or told you she was 18 but "looked really young for her age". But wire coat hangers just don't get themselves wrapped around 6 year old girls necks! Believe me, I've tried! (Come on, I'M KIDDING!)

The night of the murder there was snow on the ground yet there were no footprints anywhere around the Ramsey's house. So...does this mean John Mark Karr can fly!? Or maybe just at least hover slightly above the ground like that Chris Angel Mindfreak weirdo!? It has also been reported that there was no sign of forced entry into the Ramsey house. Perhaps Karr is a shapeshifter, gaining entry into the house by going through the keyhole in the front door. Or maybe John Mark Karr hijacked Santa's sleigh, landed on the roof of the Ramsey home (explaining no footprints) and then slid down the chimney Santa style to get into the house! The crime did happen on Christmas! It's all starting to come together now!

Here's what we do know...Mr. Karr has visited Thailand four times in the past two years. If you're an American citizen and your spending that much time in Thailand you've obviously done something wrong somewhere. Maybe you didn't murder JonBenet Ramsey, but I think it's pretty safe to say you've either got someone's blood on your hands or you've got a large bag of money (with a dollar sign printed on it) that doesn't belong to you! Did you ever see that movie where Claire Danes goes to jail in Thailand or Bangkok or somewhere like that because someone planted drugs on her!? A Thailand Prison is the last place anyone wants to be, trust me...I've seen the movie!

I also think it's a little odd that after 10 years, they catch this guy two months after Patty, JonBenet's mother, died. I don't have a joke there, I just think that's a little suspicious!?

Hopefully in the next couple of days questions about Karr's involvement in the murder will actually be addressed and answered instead of just forgotten about, ignored or swept under the carpet like this whole thing with that jerk Tom Cruise's baby not really existing! What's the deal with that!? Just show us a picture of the baby and we'll believe you Tom! Jerk!

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