Monday, October 23, 2006

Chopping Mall

CHOPPING MALL is one of the best films you've never seen. A group of teenage mall employees decide to spend the night at the mall and have a party. It turns out that on the same night the mall's new security system goes online. The mall is now equipped with Security Robots that patrol the shopping center after hours. As luck would have it the robots malfunction their first night on the job and a few people die as a result. In between the teens brief sexual encounters they each get picked off one by one by the crazy security robots. With a name like CHOPPING MALL you'd expect a lot of blood and guts, but most of the deaths are at the hands of the robots lasers. While I'm sure getting zapped by a robot isn't the most pleasant way to go, it sure beats a machete through your rib cage as is usually the case in these sorts of films.

The film is not really scary at all, but it does deliver some good laughs both intentional and unintentional. Dick Miller (Mr. Futterman from GREMLINS) shows up as the mall's overnight janitor. Not to give anything away, but it's going to be his last night on the job. Also on hand in a brief cameo are Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov reprising their roles from EATING RAOUL. Heading up the picture are Tony O'Dell (from TV's HEAD OF THE CLASS) and Kelli Maroney who was in the equally fantastic and underrated NIGHT OF THE COMET.

When a movie is called CHOPPING MALL and has the tag lines "Where Shopping Costs You an Arm and a Leg" and "Shop `Till You Drop, Dead!" you know you're in for a good time.




If that looked too scary for you, you might want to catch the film on TV under it's tamer title KILLBOTS.

1 comment:

  1. Man, they just don't make 'em like this anymore. Everyone overthinks movies nowadays--just throw some robots and teenagers in a mall, shake it up with some sex and violence--BANG! That's a movie! The only modern film that even comes close to this style of cinema concerns a certain airplane besieged by certain slithering reptiles.

    Also, fans of Ed South's blog may remember that he once suggested the name Kelli for my baby in honor of Chopping Mall's breakout star!
    http://wonderfulworldofblog.blogspot.com/2006/09/open-letter-to-brian.html

    I'm not exagerating when I say it was seriously considered.

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