Friday, February 24, 2012

My Week In Movies - Was Phantom Menace The Best Title They Could Come Up With?

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace 3D (1999/2012) I don't care what people say, I've always found this to be an enjoyable film. The secret to having a good time watching this flick is to not pay any attention to the plot. The stupid plot involving the Trade Federation and negotiations and all that blibber blabber is all just a meaningless framework for the real story of the film, and that's the discovery and early years of the boy who would become Darth Vader. And for everyone who complains that Jar-Jar Binks is too silly to be in a Star Wars movie let me remind you that the series also features funny robots, a Muppet, a village of teddy bears and that blue guy that plays keyboards in Return of the Jedi (Yes, I mean Max Rebo. He's awesome!) The 3D effects added for this release make the picture look beautiful but sadly not a single thing pops out of the screen. I think I speak for everyone when I say I wouldn't mind a lightsaber singeing my eyebrows. The bottom line for parents is that it's awesome to be able to let our kids experience all these films on the big screen...the way Qui-Gon Jinn would have wanted it.

Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star (2011) You can't possibly imagine a worse film released by a major movie studio. You can't make a movie with the premise that a guy with "little talent" wants to be a porn star and then have the silly proceedings be so plot driven. Nobody cares about character AND the most screen time semen has ever had in a movie. You gotta pick one or the other.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (2011) Now, this also sounds like it would be a horrific mess of modern film making but it's actually a very well done story about friendship and the transition from your carefree 20's into the more responsible 30's and 40's. A group of friends spend their last summer at their beach house by throwing the ultimate party. The theme for the final party will be an orgy. While the flick does contain graphic nudity and relations, this is not a silly sex comedy or skin flick - it's a pretty darn funny movie with a great ensamble cast including SNL's Jason Sudekis.

Dance Flick (2009) I first saw this slightly better than average parody film in June 2009.

Eight On The Lam (1967) I discovered this older comedy on Netflix. Bob Hope plays a cash strapped father of seven who finds $10,000 in cash. He then gets framed for embezzlement at his job. Since he's been living the good life when his new found money, he assumes that no one will believe him that he didn't steal the money. So he packs up the seven kids and hits the road to hide out and clear his name. Phyllis Diller plays the kid's nanny who stays behind and tries to throw off the cops investigation. Oh, her boyfriend is a cop - and he's played by Jonathan Winters. I loves me some Jonathan Winters. Score! Good stuff.

The Spy Next Door (2010) This kiddie action movie is the cinematic equivalent of making a pitcher of Kool-Aid with an improper sugar to water ration. You can tell this movie could taste good, if they let Jackie Chan do his thing but they've stirred in to many stunt doubles and overdosed on cliche kiddie storylines. Spy Next Door? More like Spy Next Bore! Am I right people?

Street Fighter (1994) Last week, Licence To Drive made the leap from Movies I Love to Movies I Don't Love. This week, Street Fighter got reclassified from Movies I Love to "What???" I saw this video game based movie when it hit theatres for two reasons; 1) It featured international pop sensation Kylie Minogue and 2) it was written and directed by one of the 34 writers of The Flintstones movie. I remember really liking this movie, to the point where I bought the laser disc when it came out and I picked up a copy on DVD at a yard sale last year. The kids wanted to watch it the other night because they are on a video game movie kick and...WOW! What a jumbled mess of a movie. I'm not sure what I ever saw in this film (besides Kylie Minogue) but I can't imagine ever watching it again. Horrible.

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