Sorry Roy

It was brought to my attention that I had made an error in an earlier post when I stated that the Roy Rogers restaurant chain had gone out of business. While the coyboy himself may no longer be with us, the fast food establishment that carries his name is alive and well. In fact, you can read all about their tasty roast beef and golden fried chicken at their official website.
Or check out this borderline creepy "fan site."

Anywho...the reason I bring it up is because today I was reminded of one of the funniest things I ever saw. Do you remember the large fries used to come in a little cardboard gun holster!? We used to have a 24-hour Roy's that we frequented in our college years, and one night we're all there and I turn around and Brian Kaiser had actually looped his belt through his order of fries, and was walking about with his fry holster full of tasty fries. I don't know why, but to this day that is one of the funniest things ever! Maybe because deep down inside I always wanted to do the same thing!

Project: Garage Part II

Here's the progress we've made on the garage. It doesn't look like much from this photo...but we basically got all the trash out of there except for some left over Homes Magazines from my delivery route that are in the front corner. Now, it's just a matter of organizing stuff (like my two tractors!?!) I'll be quite honest with ya, it's going to be a while `till I get back to it!

This morning, while I was giving Tanner a bottle, I was watching a great old movie called The Music Box staring Laurel and Hardy. Elias walked into the room, looked at the television for a few moments, saw Laurel and Hardy and then pointed to the screen and said, "DADDY!" Thanks, Elias!

There are about three or four restaurants in the area that I love but Jennifer doesn't like to go to. However, today I caught her on an off moment and we had lunch at Ryan's, which is a buffet. One time we were in there, someone had vomited in the lobby and now the rest of my family doesn't want to go there! Good Eats I tell you, Good Eats!

Project: Garage

This is what our garage looked like this morning before I finally began the task of cleaning it out and making it livable for our two cars.
It wasn't in the neatest order before Christmas day, but after Christmas it got pretty bad, pretty quick.
Joey and I loaded up my father-in-law's pick up truck with the a month's worth of trash bags, the boxes to every single thing we've bought in the last 4 months, and a bale of hay (which was a Halloween decoration!) We hauled it all to the dump, and completed phase one of Project: Garage! Tune in tomorrow to see the progress we've made!

I tried McDonald's new Spicy Chicken Sandwich that they can't stop talking about. Apparently you can take an old sandwich which has been on the menu for months, dye it red, and call it a new menu item! The dipping sauce for their chicken tenders is way more spicier that this sandwich! Just give us the McRib, Mickey D...that's all we're waiting for!!!

We got a cool gift for Baby Tanner today from someone at Jen's work. She gave us a very nice set of Burp Cloths, which doesn't sound like much of a gift...but these are very nice. They are very high quality, and very attractive. They come from a company called BeMyLittleBaby.com. It's just a local lady who runs this business out of her house, and she seems to make really nice & unique items, so I thought I'd give her a plug!!

Right now there are three babies that we know of waiting to arrive!
My wife's friend, also named Jen, is due any moment now. She was actually in the hospital last night with contractions, but they ended up sending her home for whatever reason. So, that baby should be here any day now.
My college buddy Aaron and his wife are expecting their first child any day now. She was actually due yesterday...so they are just waiting!
And fellow Blogger John and his family are expecting child number two sometime in the next week or so!
I'll have to keep you posted on all the babies!

A Family Thing

I'm very excited that our household is going to be a Nielsen Family! The Nielsen ratings are the estimated number of viewers watching any particular TV program. The higher a shows ratings, the more advertising money they can charge. Each ratings point represents a certain number of households watching that program. Well, the shows that my family and I watch from now will directly contribute to that shows ratings. Everything we watch, will represent thousands of other people watching that show! So be prepared for big ratings for Court TV's 1,000 daily reruns of COPS!

To be excited about it is kind of nerdy, but that all goes back to me being obsessed with TV when I was younger. And of course, this all has to happen the season I get into American Idol, like that show needs any help in the ratings!


Wonderful World of Blog Shoutouts to Corinne and Chris who recently moved back to the area! Welcome back from AZ ya'll!!!! Corinne and I (and Amy) spent a summer together working at Port Discovery. Chris played guitar in the orchestra for the musical SUNBURNED which I wrote and directed in the summer of 1997! I went to their wedding in....summer of `01 (? I believe!!!)
Welcome back and welcome to the blog!

American Idol

I can't believe how far I've been sucked into American Idol. Until this season, the only episode I've ever seen of the show is the one where William Hung was on.
This season, we casually watched the audition shows because they are funny...but there were a handful of people that I thought were interesting and they made it through "to Hollywood" as they say. So, I kept watching.
They took 175 people out to Hollywood and whittled it down to 24, and of course all the people that I found interesting...made it through to the final 24! So, just when I get out of Skating With Celebrities, FOX sucks me back in with American Idol!
The thing with these reality shows is that they get so exhausting! You get into them, and you really get into the people and it just goes on and on...the suspense gets crazy. I remember watching those last couple episodes of Survivor, the first couple of seasons and feeling emotionally drained!
Well, we'll see how long I hold in there! I've got my TiVo "season passed" for AI, so I'm all set!

Brian, if you're reading this....yes, I know...you owe me about 1,000 American Idol jokes!

Ups and Downs

Ups and downs of being a parent...

On the up side:
Last night I took Elias to see Curious George, which he loved! It is fun to take him to the movies as it remains one of my favorite activities and it's even more fun to share it with my son.
Elias was excited to see the movie. He laughed and cheered along, and yelled when he thought Curious George was in trouble. Very Cute!

Down side:
This morning we went to Perkins for lunch. On your way out, you get a tasty treat from their bakery, I always get the lollipop Cookie which is a sugar cookie with frosting baked on a stick. Today they had special Valentine's lollipop cookies with purple frosting and candy hearts on them! Well, Elias wasn't satisfied with his plain sugar cookie, and threw a fit until I had no choice but to surrender my delicious special Valentine's Day cookie to him! I was left with a boring old plain sugar cookie!
You don't understand...it had purple frosting, and it was on there real thick...it looked really good! I was very sad!

This evening, my wife and I (and our three kids) enjoyed a romantic Valentine's Day dinner at Wendy's! Thank you very much!

"Vice" President

I meant to get this on earlier...but...

Today while you're standing around the water cooler talking about Dick Chaney's little hunting incident, please make sure to use "finger quotations" if referring to it as an "accident."

I don't know all the details but I'm quite sure it was about as "accidental" as the death of King Mufasa.

Snow Day

Joey, Elias and I ventured out into the snow today to do a little playing and to shovel the driveway! As Joey and I were both making little progress in the large project ahead of us, my wonderful neighbor, Ed, approaches our house with his gas powered snow blower! He had the entire driveway done in less time then it took Joey and I to get about a fifth of it shoveled. To quote Sammy Davis Jr. in Cannonball Run, "May the good Lord take a liking to you, but not to soon!"
Then as we were working on the sidewalk to the house, the plow comes down the street and pushed a large mound of snow up against the cleared driveway. I went out into the street to talk to my neighbor across the street from me, Mike. We're said hello dozens of times over the past year, but we've never really had a conversation. Today, we ended up talking for a good 15 minutes or so. It was nice! Then when Joey and I went to work on the plowed mound of snow at the end of the driveway, Mike came over with his snowblower and cleared the driveway for us.
I felt very fortunate to have such good neighbors. The last home we lived in was a duplex that we shared with a drug dealer, so we're really happy with the step-up that we've made.

While all this snow removal was going on, Elias was helping with his shovel and taking many snow eating snack breaks. I snapped a handful of pictures of this chilly day.

Back Trouble

This morning I woke up with a horrible back pain, unlike the other back pains that I have that I'm used to by now. At first I just dismissed it as the way I slept..but after a couple of hours, it was still hurting.
Elias loves climbing all over everybody, so I layed down on the floor and let Elias climb up on me and walk on my back (as he loves to do!) Damned if that didn't do the trick. I felt like a million bucks after that! Thanks Dr. Elias!

White Trash

The other day while I was out and about I saw a car with seat covers featuring Tweety Bird dressed in "Yo" gear, standing on a camouflaged background. That is so many levels of white trash...it's hard to explain!

In good ol' Hanover, Pa they one up the NASCAR t-shirt with the "wolf" shirt. For some reason, sales of shirts with pictures of wolves in Hanover are very high. People with wolf shirts on are usually seen drinking from a 72oz. insulated mug from the Turkey Hill convenience store.

And let me also mention the charming family that we saw walking into Wal-Mart the other night at 10:00pm (in February) without shoes on! That's a special breed of white trash right there!

Lucky News

It was announced today, that Disney traded Monday Night Football's Al Michaels to NBC/Universal for their Sunday night football coverage in exchange for some other sports crap and the rights to Oswald The Lucky Rabbit!
Oswald is a cartoon series that Walt Disney and his brother created in the 1920's. Through contract loop holes and other legal mumbo-jumbo, the Disney Brothers lost their creation in 1928....leaving them to come up with another cartoon character. The character they created to replace Oswald was named Mickey Mouse...and we all know how it went from there!
Now 75+ years later, Oswald returns to his home at the Disney Studios. For animation buffs and Disney fans, this is great news. First of all, there is sure to be an Oswald DVD in the near future! These cartoons haven't been seen in decades, so that will be a real treat! Plus, it's awesome that after all these years the rights to Oswald The Lucky Rabbit will be back in the hands of Walt Disney's company!
There's many things that The Walt Disney Company has done over the years, that people have questioned if Walt would have apporved or not. (The endless string of made-for-video sequels comes to mind.) But bringing Oswald home surely would make Walt proud!

This Just In....

I found this item in the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly:

An NYC judge issued a warrant for Natasha Lyonne's arrest after the American Pie star missed a court date Jan. 27. Lyonne was set to appear before a judge stemming from 2004 charges that she'd threatened to sexually molest her former landlord's dog. Yes, you read that last sentance correctly.

Sounds like a possible Animal Planet movie of the week!

One More Thing About Debbie...

Not to harp on about Debbie Gibson, but yesterday was awesome because I heard TWO Debbie Gibson songs on the radio. Late in the afternoon I heard "Only in My Dreams" which is probably the second most common DG song to hear on the radio, after her biggest hit "Lost in Your Eyes." But, earlier in the day...the same station played "Shake Your Love" which is my all-time favorite song (or "favourite" for my Canadian readers.) You don't usually hear "Shake Your Love" on the radio....it always puts me in a good mood when I hear Debbie on the radio.

OK...that's it....I'm going to shut up about Debbie Gibson for now!

So Long, Debbie!

Well, this week's sad news comes in the form of Mrs. Deborah Ann Gibson leaving the television series "Skating with Celebrities." Three episodes into the show, the second elimination episode and Debbie and her partner received the lowest scores and were eliminated from the competition.
The sad news is, Debbie rides off into the sunset of obsecurity once again!
The good news is, now I have no reason to watch "Skating with Celebrities!" There is only so much of people skating around in circles that one can take! Boy Howdy...that show was boring!

But I know that Debbie will return to the airwaves once again. Maybe it will be VH1's I Love the 80's Part 4 or perhaps it will be UPN's "Bobsledding with the Stars!" Whatever it is.... I'll be there for you, Debbie!

Mockingbird

The other day at the doctor's office, in the crowded waiting room, out of nowhere Elias starts singing the theme to COPS: "Bad Boys, Bad Boys. What ya gonna do? What ya gonna do when they come for you!?!" He did not know it from the TV show, but from a Greatest Hits of the 90's CD I have in the car. None the less, I'm sure the whole waiting room thought I've been plopping my 2 year old son down in front of COPS!

Then the next night, after hearing another song on the radio a couple of times...in a crowded McDonald's Elias starts singing: "I don't want to say she's a gold digger..." Luckily, that's the only line from that classic children's song that he picked up!

I guess I should invest in a Wiggles CD for the car!

Eats Like A Bird

Last night for diner, I made Worms & Dirt for our dessert. Elias was very excited at the concept of eating worms. He dug right into the gummy worm and, without me noticing, devoured the whole thing without chewing it.
Quickly, Elias began choking. I did the traditional half-ass pat on the back thing. After a few wacks on the back, it was obvious that this would require more attention. Elias started gagging and turning red! Usually he has no trouble spitting food out, but he couldn't clear his throat.
So....I reached inside his little mouth and pulled the entire, squishy, wet gummy worm out of him. Disgusting? Yes! I looked like a mother bird with a worm dangling over my kids head.

So, I did what any good mother bird would have done. I chewed the worm up and spit it back into Elias' mouth!

I'M KIDDING!!!!!!

A Sweet Story

Monday night we experienced a Snow Squall. Apparently at age 32, there are still weather conditions that you've never heard of! In case you've never Squalled before, it's like a cross between a mini-blizzard and a real bad thunder storm.

It started right as I was putting Elias to bed. A couple claps of thunder roared about five minutes after I had left Elias' room. We muted "American Idol" and didn't hear him crying. Another five minutes passed and the thunder shook the entire house for a few seconds! I went upstairs to check on Elias, and he was still snuggled in his bed as I had left him but he had little tears streaming down his face. I asked him if he wanted to come back downstairs for a little while. "OKAY!," he shouted as her bolted out of the bed and into my arms!

He came downstairs and sat on the sofa with us and watched TV, then he played in his playroom for a little while. An hour or so later, the storm had stopped and Elias was ready for bed again.
As I took him upstairs, he kept saying, "lay down with Daddy!" I figured he wanted me to lay next to his bed till he fell asleep, but when we made it up the stairs he bypassed his room and went straight to my bedroom. He climbed up into the bed, and laid down in him Mommy's spot and pulled the blanked up over him.

So I layed down next to him in my spot. "Good Night Daddy!," he said. He put his hands behind his head like he was laying on a hammock taking a nap.

About an hour later, Jen gently woke me up! Elias and I were both fast asleep in our bed!
It was a really cool night, and one of those times where I felt so lucky to be a daddy!

Shut up! Every story doesn't have to be funny!

Skating with Celebrities

The latest train wreck of a TV show that I've gotten myself into is Fox's "Skating with celebrities" which is an obvious rip-off of ABC's hit "Dancing with the Stars." See...Fox has celebrities while ABC has Stars...it's actually totally different.
What makes "Skating" TiVo-worthy in my book, is that one of the celebrities is 80's Pop Princess Deborah Gibson. To say I was obsessed with Debbie Gibson in high school is an understatement. Debbie has always held a special place in my heart! While the rest of my class was listening to The Cure and Guns & Roses...I was alone with Debbie!
In 1995, I got to personally meet Debbie Gibson at an in-store CD signing at a Borders in Pentagon City. That was awesome!

So, as cheesy as it is...it's cool to see Debbie on a prime time television show where each week her and her professional skating partner compete against 5 other pairs for some prize or title that has never been mentioned. I guess just the satisfaction of being the greatest non-skater skating celebrity in the world is prize enough.

This week was a close call for Debbie, as the first team was eliminated from the show. Debbie and her partner were in last place until the last team of the night struck out. It seems Todd Bridges, although quite an entertaining skater, took a spill and was eliminated from the competition.

If Debbie had been voted off...I could have just threw in the towel and stopped watching the show. But Debbie moves on, and I must stick with her. The problem comes if she gets voted off with two or three shows to go! I might find myself too emotionally invested in the show to walk away! I then I would have to question my sexuality!?

At this point in the game, I'm predicting that Jillian Barberre chick from FOX NFL is going to be the winner. But it's early! Who can tell! More importantly...who gives a rat's flying fig!???!

More Fun Salads

Dear Restaurant Industry,

When I order a Cesar Salad, by default I want Cesar Dressing on it! If I wanted Thousand Island, Creamy Italian or peppercorn Parmesan I would have ordered just a SALAD!

It seems now everytime I order a Cesar Salad, the waitress or dimwitted schlub at Wendy's asks me what dressing I want!?
One time we were at KFC and my friend ordered a three piece diner. The guy behind the counter asked, "Chicken?" To which we replied, "OK, steak then!? I didn't know there was a choice!"

The pictures of all the different salads at McDonald's look all the same. I can't tell the three of them apart. Until I can tell the difference between a McCobb salad and the Bacon Ranch salad, I'm going to just have to keep on ordering the Double Quarter Pounder!

I also love at McDonald's how they put Olympic athletes on their bags and cups suggesting that anyone that has a shot at winning a Gold Medal has eaten McDonald's past their 8th birthday. I don't recall anyone taking a break during their Ski Jump or Curling match to take a massive, runny, McDonalds induced doo-doo!

One more thing...I love to get my "eat on" as much as the next Joe...but that Enormous omelet sandwich at Burger King has got to be the most disgusting looking fast food item since Roy Rogers went out of business!

Happy New Year!

When we moved into our home in February, one of our new neighbors came up to introduce themselves and welcome us to the neighborhood. Among other things, she mentioned that the men on the street have a tradition where they all get together on New Year's Day and do something, but she didn't let on what exactly it was that they did. For the next 10 months I wondered and worried about what the "tradition" was. I had convinced myself that it had to involve guns!

Well, I found out at the block Christmas party a few weeks ago that it did not indeed involve guns. The custom was for all the men to meet up New Year's Day and follow a tradition from the Ukraine. It is good luck for a male to be the first person through the door in the New Year, so we all met up in the cul-da-sac at 12:30 in the afternoon and went to each house to greet the families a Happy New Year and to enjoy a little snack and an alcoholic beverage.

It was actually quite fun! Since I'm not much of a drinker anymore, I paced myself and didn't have too much to drink. But, one could have gotten their drink on! Everyone had a nice supply of liquor to share with their neighbors. I limited myself to one frozen mudslide and a 7 & Seven, the rest of the houses I enjoyed a Diet Pepsi.

At the last home we stopped at, we enjoyed an hour or so of billards in their basement.
An unusual way to spend a day, but very much fun indeed!

Another thing that I want to talk about (all the time) on this here blog is movies!
When you have two kids under the age of 2 1/2 you don't get to see too many movies.

New Year's Eve we watched Cinderella with my 2 year old son Elias. As you may know, I regard many of Disney's animated classics as some of the best films ever made. Cinderella is one of the all time greats, and it's always fun to share these movies with Elias, for the first time. He enjoyed it, he liked the mice. And then after the stepsisters rip Cinderella's dress and she runs into the backyard, Elias shouted, "Oh No! Cinderella is running away to the circus!" I don't know where that came from!?!

On the 1st, we watched Fever Pitch with Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore. This is a result of sending my wife to the video store. It wasn't that bad, Jimmy Fallon was actually pretty good... much better than he was in that piece of crap "Taxi."

The next night we say Grizzly Man, a documentary about this guy who lived with wild grizzly bears for 13 summers until he and his girlfriend were eaten alive by one! This grizzly man had recorded over 100 hour of footage of him with the bears, including an audio only tape of him and his girlfriend being eaten. The whole movie builds up to this tape, but then then don't play it. In some sick way I was disappointed, until I realized that hearing it would have given me nightmares for the rest of my life!