This is quite possibly the most bizarre prize ever put into a Happy Meal box in the United States! Ronald McDonald's makeup has slightly changed from happy hamburger slinging clown to child serial killer. Seriously, the cold stare in Ronald's eyes and the addition of just the little triangles of makeup under his eyes are cause for alarm. He looks like he's about 30 seconds away from raping a kid in the janitor's closet of your local McDonald's. And notice he's driving a turtle, not riding a turtle mind you, but driving a turtle equipped with two joysticks for easy turtle maneuvering. What ever happened to the little Winnie the Pooh heads you clipped onto your belt loops!? Now that was a happy meal toy! McDonald's likes to do this thing where at one time they will have two different types of Happy Meal toys available at the same time, one for boys and one for girls. They usually do this when there is something popular out that mainly appeals to one gender like Bratz or Power Rangers. This month McDonald's has The Little Mermaid for girls and Bionicle for boys. (For those of you out of the loop, Bionicle is some sort of gay Lego robot or something like that!?) First of all, The Little Mermaid should have a Happy Meal all to herself. There have been two previous Little Mermaid happy meals in 1989 and 1997 when the movie first came out and when it was rereleased on Home Video. In those Happy Meals the toys were little plastic figures or wind up toys. Now, in 2006, where ever Disney movie has to be for boys or girls, The Little Mermaid prizes are ALL girly. They have Little Mermaid purses, jewelry, lip balm, and even a tieara. I was pretty disappointed the other day when I saw The Little Mermaid poster hanging in the window of a McDonald's and swerved over three lanes of traffic to make it to the restaurant only to get a Little Mermaid necklace in my Happy Meal!
It never even dawned on me that the prizes would be girly. I was expecting more little plastic figures for my shelf! So instead of getting the boy OR girl prize at McDonald's this month, I've been ordering the "under 3" toy for Elias. They always have a different set of Happy Meal prizes with no little parts for kids under 3. Usually they are Fisher Price Little People toys, but now they are carrying a whole line of Evil Child Molester Ronald McDonalds in various vehicles, motorized or shelled. So stop by your local McDonald's today for a delicious Iced Coffee and Evil Looking Ronald McDonald driving a turtle toy!
In other news...check out this video of Tanner dancing to the song from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride in Walt Disney World.
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